A LONG TIME AGO, SOMEONE SOMEWHERE SAID something horrible about men... and it stuck. It's the nasty schoolyard rumor that won't go away, like when you heard that your best friend's brother had head lice in the fourth grade. It wasn't true. But the kid never lived it down. An equally destructive whopper about men was dumped out there decades ago, and we're still plagued by it:
Men peak at age 18.
Maybe you can show in a lab that the reproductive potential of the average 18-year-old male is peaking (eight times a day, baby!). You can write newspaper stories about his time in the 100-meter against Central Catholic, or his passer rating, or his four gold medals in the district swimming finals. You can give him a high school diploma. Hell, you can also send that guy off to war and into a voting booth (not necessarily in that order).
And according to popular lore, that's the story of a man—the best he'll ever be. We should know better. It's time to revise that number. In fact, let's double it.
Age 36. That's a more realistic prime—a time of achievement, family, and friendship, with equal parts reflection on the past and anticipation for the future. It's an accurate time to measure a man's self-worth. Our case study: David Beckham.
You've heard of him. You don't even have to be a soccer fan. He's probably the most famous athlete on earth. He married one of the most famous women on the planet. He has money. He has four kids (all sired after age 18, by the way). He's accomplished everything a man in his profession can accomplish, and he's done it at the highest level.
And the idiots out there say he's over the hill. Past his prime. A "Yesterday Man," according to the U.K.'s Mirror. A "self-serving" jock who should "step down for the good of his national team," an ESPN columnist wrote. Everyone seems to agree that Beckham is not as fast as he once was, but an athlete, like any man, shouldn't be measured by just one standard. We may try—with rulers, with hood ornaments, with trophy cases and trophy wives—but it's never a complete picture.
When you start counting up the real benchmarks of success, the ones that actually mean something, you see just how many there are. And how the ones that receive the most attention are, in fact, the least valuable.
Let's take a look at the worthy metrics, with Beckham as our guide. The best part? No matter which side of 36 you're on, if you're excelling in these areas, you're in your prime. If you're not excelling? There's plenty here to think about, and it's never too late to start.
METRIC 1
You accept change. Dynamic men waste little time—at any age—sitting on bar stools talking about how great they were at 18. Dynamic men evolve. Case in point: Beckham, who's still playing soccer at age 36. People see an aging athlete change his game, and say, "He's done." That's not true. The guys who struggle are the ones who refuse to adapt to their age and march onto the field expecting the same results as before. (See "Favre, Brett.") Beckham has remade his game to take advantage of what he can still do better than most. He plays deep in central midfield, watching and waiting to intercept the ball and then passing it with his legendary accuracy. "You have to change," he says. "Even at 36, I'm still running 12 miles a game. [But] I've definitely become more aware on the field. I know what my limits are, what I can achieve, and which passes I can play. I have adapted to my age." The result? The L.A. Galaxy won the MLS Cup in 2011, earning Beckham a club championship in a third country, after England and Spain.
METRIC 2
You shed vanity. Yes, Beckham is a notorious popinjay. But the vanity we refer to isn't about looking good; it's about needing adulation to maintain self-worth. For Beck-ham it's simple: He respects his fans but he's not addicted to their cheers. He lives a real life beyond work. "I've got friends at the different teams I've played for, but family is the most important thing to me. That will always be the case. I've got my wife. I've got my four kids. I've got parents, grandparents still, and three really good friends. It's all you need. I'd rather have three really good friends than 20 good friends."
METRIC 3
You bring out the best in yourself. Do you know your worst trait? The smart guys leverage theirs into something useful. "I am a very stubborn person," Beckham says, so he uses it as fuel. "I think it's helped me over my career. I'm sure it has hindered me at times as well, but not too many times. I know that if I set my mind to something, even if people are saying I can't do it, I will achieve it."
METRIC 4
You approach fatherhood like a man. Any guy can knock up a woman. But even with the biggest surprise pregnancy, you still have, oh, 9 months to think about what kind of father you want to be. Too few men do this. Beckham, though, has a parenting ethos. "It would be easy for our kids to sit back and not work for anything," he says, "but they're not like that. They're as competitive as Victoria and me. We're very lucky with our boys: They want to win. They want to work at something. They know their values. That's the way we've brought them up so far, and that's the way we'll continue to bring them up."
METRIC 5
You manage your self-destructive tendencies. Men find all manner of ways to implode. Some choose classics like booze and drugs. But you can also overspend, cultivate an affair, or cheat your employer. What's your poison? Beckham, despite all available vices, has managed to keep his self-discipline. "Sportsmen have changed over the past 10 to 15 years. When I came into the Manchester United squad, you still heard about players going out for a few beers after a game. That doesn't happen very much now. The real professional players look after themselves a lot better than they did 10 years ago, and that's obviously how you see the likes of Ryan Giggs or myself still playing at the top level."
METRIC 6
You thrive in crisis. In March 2010, Beckham tore his Achilles tendon, ruining his chance of playing in the 2010 World Cup. It could've been a career-ending injury. In the past 4 years, a lot of men have faced their own potential career killers, through firings and layoffs. How do you react when something bad happens? Here's how Beckham responded: "There was only 1 day when I doubted that I'd get back to playing. It was 2 days after the operation when my bandages came off and I saw the scar. It was very different from what I'd seen a few days before, and it scared me. I think that's the only time I've really felt that I wouldn't play football again. I was emotional... I've played this sport for quite a few years. To think that I wouldn't be doing it anymore upset me. But it lasted only for the day. My kids walked into the room, and that took my mind off it. From then I was determined, absolutely determined, to get back. The surgeon told me I'd be back playing in 9 months." He smiles. "I was back in just under 6."
1. Prime Your Muscles
Beckham is known for being the first to arrive at practice. "He's usually ready to work an hour before practice starts," Yauss says. But it's not to impress his coaches. Twenty years on the field has taught Beckham that exercising cold is a fast track to the disabled list. "Warming up ensures that his joints and muscles are ready for action," says Yauss, who has Beckham prime his body with dynamic movements like the kneeling hip flexor stretch, hip raise, and reverse lunge—all of which improve active flexibility and excite the central nervous system.
2. Add Some Resistance
Like most men in their 30s, Beckham faces a gradual decline in performance. To curb those losses, he supplements his regular gym workouts with resistance-band and resisted-movement exercises. "Adding them to sprints, kicks, and lateral movements helps build explosive power," Yauss says. One of Beckham's moves for glute strength: the band lateral shuffle. To try it, loop a resistance band around both legs just above your knees and stand with your feet shoulder-width apart. Next, take 10 wide steps to your left and then 10 wide steps to your right. That's 1 set; do 3.
3. Roll it Out
To help his body bounce back after 90 minutes on the pitch—or after especially tough training—Beckham focuses on soft-tissue work. "Five to 10 minutes of massage or foam rolling makes sure he's not stiff or sore the next day," Yauss says. Such gentle manipulation boosts bloodflow to tired muscles, speeding recovery. It's also an essential part of his mid-30s mantra: Exercise in balance. "It's not just lifting or running or stretching or flexibility work—it's a combination of all of them," says Yauss. "By taking a holistic approach to fitness, David is able to stay healthy all season long and dribble circles around guys 15 years his junior."
You shed vanity. Yes, Beckham is a notorious popinjay. But the vanity we refer to isn't about looking good; it's about needing adulation to maintain self-worth. For Beck-ham it's simple: He respects his fans but he's not addicted to their cheers. He lives a real life beyond work. "I've got friends at the different teams I've played for, but family is the most important thing to me. That will always be the case. I've got my wife. I've got my four kids. I've got parents, grandparents still, and three really good friends. It's all you need. I'd rather have three really good friends than 20 good friends."
METRIC 3
You bring out the best in yourself. Do you know your worst trait? The smart guys leverage theirs into something useful. "I am a very stubborn person," Beckham says, so he uses it as fuel. "I think it's helped me over my career. I'm sure it has hindered me at times as well, but not too many times. I know that if I set my mind to something, even if people are saying I can't do it, I will achieve it."
METRIC 4
You approach fatherhood like a man. Any guy can knock up a woman. But even with the biggest surprise pregnancy, you still have, oh, 9 months to think about what kind of father you want to be. Too few men do this. Beckham, though, has a parenting ethos. "It would be easy for our kids to sit back and not work for anything," he says, "but they're not like that. They're as competitive as Victoria and me. We're very lucky with our boys: They want to win. They want to work at something. They know their values. That's the way we've brought them up so far, and that's the way we'll continue to bring them up."
METRIC 5
You manage your self-destructive tendencies. Men find all manner of ways to implode. Some choose classics like booze and drugs. But you can also overspend, cultivate an affair, or cheat your employer. What's your poison? Beckham, despite all available vices, has managed to keep his self-discipline. "Sportsmen have changed over the past 10 to 15 years. When I came into the Manchester United squad, you still heard about players going out for a few beers after a game. That doesn't happen very much now. The real professional players look after themselves a lot better than they did 10 years ago, and that's obviously how you see the likes of Ryan Giggs or myself still playing at the top level."
METRIC 6
You thrive in crisis. In March 2010, Beckham tore his Achilles tendon, ruining his chance of playing in the 2010 World Cup. It could've been a career-ending injury. In the past 4 years, a lot of men have faced their own potential career killers, through firings and layoffs. How do you react when something bad happens? Here's how Beckham responded: "There was only 1 day when I doubted that I'd get back to playing. It was 2 days after the operation when my bandages came off and I saw the scar. It was very different from what I'd seen a few days before, and it scared me. I think that's the only time I've really felt that I wouldn't play football again. I was emotional... I've played this sport for quite a few years. To think that I wouldn't be doing it anymore upset me. But it lasted only for the day. My kids walked into the room, and that took my mind off it. From then I was determined, absolutely determined, to get back. The surgeon told me I'd be back playing in 9 months." He smiles. "I was back in just under 6."
Don't Play Your Age
Beckham turns 37 in May. "Most players are gone at this point," says Ben Yauss, strength and conditioning coach of the L.A. Galaxy, where Beckham returns next season. "But by adjusting his fitness regimen to his age, we keep him at the top of his game. Follow Beckham's lead to stay on top of yours.1. Prime Your Muscles
Beckham is known for being the first to arrive at practice. "He's usually ready to work an hour before practice starts," Yauss says. But it's not to impress his coaches. Twenty years on the field has taught Beckham that exercising cold is a fast track to the disabled list. "Warming up ensures that his joints and muscles are ready for action," says Yauss, who has Beckham prime his body with dynamic movements like the kneeling hip flexor stretch, hip raise, and reverse lunge—all of which improve active flexibility and excite the central nervous system.
2. Add Some Resistance
Like most men in their 30s, Beckham faces a gradual decline in performance. To curb those losses, he supplements his regular gym workouts with resistance-band and resisted-movement exercises. "Adding them to sprints, kicks, and lateral movements helps build explosive power," Yauss says. One of Beckham's moves for glute strength: the band lateral shuffle. To try it, loop a resistance band around both legs just above your knees and stand with your feet shoulder-width apart. Next, take 10 wide steps to your left and then 10 wide steps to your right. That's 1 set; do 3.
3. Roll it Out
To help his body bounce back after 90 minutes on the pitch—or after especially tough training—Beckham focuses on soft-tissue work. "Five to 10 minutes of massage or foam rolling makes sure he's not stiff or sore the next day," Yauss says. Such gentle manipulation boosts bloodflow to tired muscles, speeding recovery. It's also an essential part of his mid-30s mantra: Exercise in balance. "It's not just lifting or running or stretching or flexibility work—it's a combination of all of them," says Yauss. "By taking a holistic approach to fitness, David is able to stay healthy all season long and dribble circles around guys 15 years his junior."
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